“It’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life and everything should be just perfect, with everyone around being happy for me and rushing to help with whatever you need and everything going smoothly right? So, why does it feel the opposite? I never thought I would feel so lonely and like I have to do everything myself, while everyone, including those closest to me, seem to be fighting over the most trivial things. I thought they would support me. Why do I feel this way? I just want to scream…”
Are you a bride-to-be who is feeling like this?
It’s perfectly understandable you feel this way, especially as this is supposed to be the ‘best’ day of your life. Here are some tips to make you feel a little better about things and help you stay calm as you prepare for your wedding day.
Perfection
First of all, let’s start with the ‘P’ word. Perfection. You can begin by taking the pressure off right now because guess what? There is no such thing as ‘perfection’. So, take a deep breath and breathe out a sigh of relief.
Nerves
Realise that it is okay to feel nervous and anxious. There is no need to pretend everything is ‘fine’ and under control if it isn’t. Don’t keep things bottled up, make sure you tell someone close how you feel.
Connection
Communicate your thoughts and share your feelings with your fiancé. This will help you both to stay connected and remind you that you are both in this together. You are not alone.
Write it down
If it helps to express yourself, write it down, this will help provide clarity for your mind because you can see it all on paper. It can help to release emotions and you may even see things from a new perspective.
Delegate
You are not a super-hero so don’t try to do everything yourself. As soon as you have selected your bridal party, delegate tasks to each of them and check-in on how things are going now and again. Let them know when things need to be done by and to inform you if there are any problems along the way. Allow for any hiccups when you factor in the time. Better still, if your budget allows hire a wedding planner to take care of this all for you. If not ask reliable friends and family to help out where they can. If you are doing this yourselves make a list of what needs to be done and do one thing at a time.
People-pleasing
Don’t try to please everyone, it is a never-ending circle and you will be wasting your time. It doesn’t matter what others think. Yes, they will be happy to voice their opinion and yes, you can listen to them if you wish, but you will be saving yourself a lot of heartache if you make a decision and stick to it. The focus should be on you and your fiancé, not about who sits next to who.
Conflict
This may occur between families, for some reason events trigger a variety of feelings for people. It could be anything from jealousy to anger. It helps to remember that, although it may not feel like it now, this stressful time is only temporary and will pass.
Remember your why?
At stressful times, it is worth pausing to take a step back and look at the picture by remembering why you are getting married and that it is a celebration of your love for each other. It will help you get through it all.
Take Time Out
Take some time for yourself, whether it’s to meditate, exercise, go dancing with friends or spending some time reading or listening to music. It will put things into perspective and keep you feeling good and positive about yourself.
Relax
Give yourself some space to breathe and relax. Pamper yourself. Indulge in a facial, massage or whatever you prefer. This will give you a wonderful sense of well-being, which will help keep you calm.
Have Fun
Regardless of whatever is going on, remember to have fun along the way and enjoy the experience. After all it is your special day.
Have a Fabulous Day!
by Pamela Sommers
Pamela is a London wedding jewellery specialist and founder of SommerSparkle, an award-winning online boutique creating fairytale weddings with their beautiful bridal jewellery & accessories.
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